Tubachingching’s Weblog

Farting Guinness
January 10, 2008, 11:52 pm
Filed under: Pets | Tags: , ,

As entertaining as it might be to watch someone fart a pint of stout, this is about my kitten Guinness. You see, originally, I wanted to talk about my cat’s farting problem. After having written the title it comes to light that there isn’t much more to say than “my cat farts”. I could begin to describe the odd resemblance of the smell to rotten eggs amalgamated with curry sauce… but I won’t.

Instead, I’m going to tell you the story behind the farting kitty, this is where it all began:

“One Saturday morning after doing the housework, I decided to chill ax and spend some quality time with my handful-of-kitten, baby Guinness. He was only four months old at the time and smelled of cookies and dust. There he was, a ball of fluff lying tummy-up in my arms. As I leaned in to give him a kiss on his head I felt a weak contraction of my whole kitten accompanied by a loud sound, somewhat like the sound of a choo-choo train, and a whiff of morning breath. I was in SHOCK! How could a smell so offensive, so distasteful, come out of a ball of fluff?”

Something needed to be done. So I progressed to doing some reading here and there about how to make it all STOP! Then it hits me… there IS no way to stop a cat farting, but there are ways we can reduce the farting whilst taming the smell. It’s all about the diet.

Here are some tips on taming the MONSTERS of farts that your cat may emit:

* Avoid giving your cat milk, it disagrees with their digestive systems

* Try switching to a more organic diet like homecooked food. It’s friendlier to your pocket and you know exactly what goes into it!

* Feed him treats rich in fibre, like those intended for hairballs, or give him access to fresh clean grass

* A couple of tablespoons of powdered brewers yeast a day sprinkled onto his food helps reduce farting AND gets rid of fleas!!!

* Switch to dry cat food (my cat gets diarrhoea when he eats commercial wet cat food)

* Avoid cat foods containing corn, chicken meal and soybean meal, go for those that have lamb meal, rice and barley

I hope this was helpful to all those fart-generator owners but mostly I hope everyone reading was even a tiny bit amused